In the eyes of Joe Kantzer, it’s simple.

“Family takes care of family.”

This was Joe’s response when asked how he ended up being the primary caregiver (along with his wife, Dianne) to his older brother, Jerry, who is 81 years old.

The Kantzer siblings are made up of five boys and one girl. Joe is number four in that lineup. Typical of a house filled with boys, they grew up exploring, being rambunctious, and getting into mischief.

Jerry, the third of the Kantzer boys, was diagnosed with intellectual and developmental disabilities after complications at birth. This didn’t slow Jerry down or make a difference to anyone in his family. They all rolled with it. “It made no difference to any of us,” Joe said of Jerry’s diagnosis, “We still fought like cats & dogs.”

Joe recalls Jerry being a bit of a wanderer and his parents getting a call from neighbors and friends to come and get him. “Sometimes he found ‘treasures’ on his adventures that dad had to return or go pay for. That was just Jerry.”

Growing up, the brood took care of each other and are still close to this day remembering Jerry at Christmas and his birthday. Joe also said that his grandson, Preston, helps out with Jerry’s care, and Joe is very grateful for him. “We have a good system and routine,” Joe said of the family.

Joe said that his mother was instrumental in starting Marca school when Jerry was a child. Joe also ended up working for Marca Industries for about 25 years. So clearly, helping people is in the blood of the family.

“I loved Marca,” Joe said of his employment there. “We had a lot of fun, and it allowed me the opportunity to keep an eye on my brother too.”

He said, “People love people with developmental disabilities until they have to pay for them or care for them. Then, things get a little less fun. I really didn’t want the role of caregiver for Jerry, but I promised mom.”

Joe and his family live with Jerry in the home where they spend the latter part of their childhood. The surroundings were familiar to Jerry and Joe said it made the most sense.

Jerry said that he loves living with Joe and Diane. “They are nice, and I love them.”

Joe said that they keep Jerry moving. He attends day services at Marca Industries and the family has great supports and many advocates through church, Marca and in the community. Joe recalls a time of having to fight for Jerry and being very protective of him,

but he said they are in a great place now and appreciate all of those around them that pitch in to help when it’s needed.

“We are doing the best we can for Jerry. He really is a joy to our family,” Joe said.

Being a sibling to someone with a developmental disability is not always easy, but Joe said that it hasn’t been so bad. He loves all of his siblings and is happy to have them in his life.

The Marion County Board of Developmental Disabilities has recognized the important role that siblings play in the lives of those served. There is now a sibling group that meets monthly to connect, meet people who can relate, and just get away for some fun activities. To learn more about the Sibshops through the Marion County Board of DD, visit www.marioncountydd.org and click on the Sibshop banner at the top of the page.

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